Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Breaking via X:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Trending via Discord:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just landed via Threads:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Spotted on Instagram:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Breaking via Slack:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Trending via Threads:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Pie-nding my way through Thanksgiving with a fork in one hand and a pie chart in the other! 🥧🤣

being, best, celebration, family, food, friend, friends, gathering, holiday, pie, Thanksgiving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

0

2 months ago

communication, disdain, expression, face, hide, honesty, humor, much, reaction, sarcasm, saying, sorry
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

0

1 month ago

apple, bible, eating, escalate, humor, irony, murder, religion, second, sin, storytelling
Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

0

1 month ago

bro, events, fine, impossible, just, need, odds, order, perfect, play, sequence
9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

0

1 month ago

9-5, flexible, flexible schedule, home, home office, hours, humor, office, productivity, remote, remote work, schedule, work, work hours, working
Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

0

2 months ago

actually, dating, easy, honesty, humor, love, lying, relationship, relationships, weirdo
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

0

6 days ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

11 shares on X this month:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Live now on Telegram:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Just shared via Telegram:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Live now on Instagram:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨