Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, there's a clear distinction between a Lamborghini and a dead body – one is sleek and fast, while the other is, well, not so alive 🏎️💀 But hey, at least your garage isn't haunted by a Lambo ghost, right? 😂"

body, comparison, dead, dead body, difference, garage, humor, i, joke, Lamborghini, possessions, wealth

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39 shares on Snapchat this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

46 shares on Slack this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

67 shares on X this month:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

87 shares on Slack this month:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Milk or be milked.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Just landed via WeChat:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Just shared via Telegram:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Just landed via X:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just landed via TikTok:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Trending via Telegram:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Spotted on Slack:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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