The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

56 shares on Slack this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.