34 funny crying quotes - Wordgag

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

May 23, 2026

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

May 23, 2026

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

May 23, 2026

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

May 23, 2026

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

May 22, 2026

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

May 20, 2026

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

May 20, 2026

Why do we say ‘slept like a baby’? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like my cat—14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

May 20, 2026

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

May 19, 2026

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

May 19, 2026

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

May 19, 2026

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

May 19, 2026

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

May 19, 2026

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

May 18, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because it wants a cigarette.

May 18, 2026

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Apr 1, 2026

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Apr 1, 2026

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

Apr 1, 2026

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Mar 31, 2026

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Mar 31, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Mar 31, 2026

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Mar 30, 2026

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Mar 30, 2026

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Mar 30, 2026

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Mar 29, 2026

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Mar 29, 2026

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

Mar 29, 2026

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Mar 29, 2026

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Mar 29, 2026

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Mar 28, 2026

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Mar 27, 2026

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Mar 27, 2026

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Mar 27, 2026

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Mar 27, 2026