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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Seen just now on X:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Trending via Telegram:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Making waves on Instagram:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Spotted on TikTok:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Breaking via YouTube:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Going viral on Messenger:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Clever humorous quote about life’s challenges with a playful warning tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"In life, sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel turns out to be the headlight of an oncoming train 🚂💥. Talk about a plot twist! Remember, look both ways before crossing those metaphorical tracks! 😁"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Threads this month:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

47 shares on X this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m sick of living through history!

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Going viral on Instagram:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Just landed via Twitch:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Going viral on X:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Trending via Pinterest:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

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