Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
Just unlocked a new level of adulthood where you reluctantly admit mom was right all along… but those eye rolls were totally justified! 😂🙄

aging, humor, i, just, mom, older, realization, realize, right, tone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

0

2 months ago

advice, bed, behavior, both, doctor, family, health, health advice, humor, instinct, jumping, jumping on the bed, know, live, monkey, monkey instinct, playful, playful behavior, said, wife
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

0

1 month ago

beginning, bus, humor, observation, perspective, round, think, wheels
If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

0

1 month ago

bed, bedroom, boundary, call, clean, clean room, daddy, doing, funny response, humor, i, me, partner, partner teasing, playful, relationship, response, room, stop, teasing
Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

0

1 month ago

activity, bowling, fun, humor, laughter, most, sh, someone, sport
It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, edge, experience, humor, interesting, movie, seat, something, waiting
When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

0

2 months ago

am, driver, driving, family, humor, i, passenger, princess, sister, survivor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever feel like something’s missing in your life, it’s probably me.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just shared via Discord:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Spotted on Slack:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Going viral on Twitch:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just landed via YouTube:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Breaking via Twitch:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, I realize my mom was right, but I just didn’t like her tone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨