Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs caffeine when you have a hotline to the morning show! ☕️📻 Rise and shine, it's time to dial in the day with some witty banter and questionable prizes! #MorningChampions"

call, humor, morning, people, radio, real, stations, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

0

1 month ago

communication, decision making, humor, i, me, sarcasm, should, think, thinking
I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

0

2 months ago

celebrity, city, comedy, humor, i, jealousy, luxury, money, much, satire, sex, show, TV, TV Show, upset, watch
We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

0

2 months ago

AI, art, art criticism, bad, creativity, criticism, Hitler, humor, need, paintings, satire, stop
I need a leaf blower, but for people.

0

2 months ago

blower, comedy, everyday, everyday life, exaggeration, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, joke, leaf, life, need, people, relatable, sarcasm, witty
Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

0

3 months ago

before, call, communication, Facetime, humor, interaction, just, me, please, request, social, social interaction, technology
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

0

2 months ago

everyone, expectations, happiness, happy, humor, individuality, jar, Nutella, reality, self-acceptance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

87 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

God saw you do that.

Live now on Pinterest:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Live now on Twitch:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Trending via Twitch:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Breaking via X:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Just shared via X:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨