Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

You wake up at 6 a.m. and it’s like you have 48 hours instead of 24.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Shared recently on Threads:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Live now on Messenger:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Just shared via X:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Spotted on Facebook:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Trending via Slack:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When a sneeze turns into an impromptu coffee splash art competition! 🎨☕️🤧

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

0

2 months ago

AI, birthday, birthday wish, ChatGPT, copy, dating, expectations, girls, guys, handwritten, handwritten letter, humor, letter, letters, technology, wish, wishes
Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

0

3 months ago

after, behavior, dominance, humor, LinkedIn, media, networking, online, online behavior, social, social media, yours
That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, expression, feelings, humor, moment, serious, smile, strange, trying
I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

0

2 months ago

favorite, favorite part, humor, i, interruption, music, over, restart, song, talk, talking
I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, i, irony, me, question, self-reflection, wrong
Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

0

2 months ago

bro, e.g., front, grammar, h, humor, i.e., just, mistake, mix, mix-up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

45 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

99 shares on Slack this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

83 shares on Threads this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Trending via Facebook:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Seen just now on Threads:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Live now on Twitch:

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Broadcasted on X:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨