They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”