Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Just landed via WeChat:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Trending via Instagram:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Just shared via Threads:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Trending via Facebook:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Making waves on Discord:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When copy-pasting became an Olympic sport, venture capitalists were like, "Hold my money!" 🤪💸✨

annoyance, annoying, billions, capital, ChatGPT, copy, copy and paste, investment, paste, startup, technology, think, venture, venture capital

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

0

2 months ago

adults, awkwardness, children, conversation, humor, only, politics, sex, talking, thing, worse
You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

0

2 months ago

always, appearance, humor, identity, masculinity, mustache, performative, representative, spirit, tell, true
My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

0

2 months ago

cold, comparison, happening, humor, illness, me, worse, yours
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

2 weeks ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

0

2 months ago

advanced, critique, humor, jump, jump scare, just, lion, MGM, movie, observation, plot, scare, single, think, time
People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

0

2 months ago

allowed, Christmas, customer, humor, little, people, relief, retail, should, slap, stress, stress relief, treat, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

84 shares on Threads this month:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Breaking via X:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Making waves on Facebook:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Just shared via Reddit:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨