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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

Starting conversations with short people by saying โ€œback when I was your heightโ€ฆโ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต has viewed:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Earth is hard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Threads:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Just shared via Twitch:

Career? Never heard of her. Iโ€™m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Going bananas on Slack:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Trending via Discord:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where theyโ€™re parked stop looking empty?

Just landed via Telegram:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

โ€œI asked ChatGPT.โ€ Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

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Commentary:
"Breaking news: Doughnut deprived of its bling! ๐Ÿฉ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Who knew dieting could be so cruel? Stay strong, sprinkle-less warrior! ๐Ÿ’ช #DoughnutDrama"

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Social Media Stars โญ

76 shares on Snapchat this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Men love to show you a YouTube video. It is a sign of deep respect in their culture.

72 shares on X this month:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone thatโ€™s in a bad mood.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

89 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend youโ€™ve never met.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Itโ€™s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

66 shares on Threads this month:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure Iโ€™m using them right.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and Iโ€™ll get rid of it.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but youโ€™re supposed to park between them.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

โ€œGreyโ€™s Anatomyโ€ but itโ€™s told entirely through the lens of the hospitalโ€™s HR department.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Why arenโ€™t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The web is a great place to befriend people who youโ€™d never let in your house.

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

โ€œIโ€™m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on TikTok:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Just shared via X:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Live now on LinkedIn:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Live now on Threads:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Making waves on X:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Live now on WeChat:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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