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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Breaking via WeChat:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Live now on Facebook:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

Just shared via Discord:

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Just landed via X:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Making waves on Instagram:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Going bananas on Slack:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like Monday needs an espresso intervention to get its act together 🤔☕️➡️🎉

act, bribe, coffee, Friday, humor, Monday, motivation, procrastination, trying, weekday, workday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

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2 months ago

every, hour, hours, humor, messy, problem, procrastination, room, solution, still, time, waiting
That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

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2 months ago

break, cancel, canceled, free, free time, gift, gods, humor, meeting, ping, relief, surprise, time, unexpected
An electric car is just another electric chair.

0

2 months ago

another, car, chair, electric, electric car, electric chair, humor, irony, joke, just, pun, technology, transportation
I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

0

2 months ago

distraction, hear, humor, i, music, relationship, volume, where
I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

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2 months ago

advice, always, distance, fall, humor, i, life, life advice, risk, safety, stairs, take, time
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I wanna date one of those guys who really loves their girlfriend.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

91 shares on X this month:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Just landed via Reddit:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Going viral on Threads:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Shared recently on YouTube:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Spotted on Threads:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Seen just now on X:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Making waves on Reddit:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

An electric car is just another electric chair.

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨