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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Just landed via Slack:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just shared via Telegram:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Going viral on Discord:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Going viral on Discord:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Spotted on Slack:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Trending via TikTok:

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Trending via Facebook:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Ugh, but profoundly.

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Ugh, but profoundly.
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"When you agree to go out but you're already in your pajamas: Ugh, but profoundly. 🙄😂🛌"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

48 shares on Slack this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

40 shares on X this month:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

12 shares on Discord this month:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

63 shares on X this month:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Making waves on Twitch:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Live now on Discord:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Making waves on Discord:

Heyyyyyy (with the worst of intentions).

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

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