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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

11 Funny witty remark quotes

Funny witty remark quotes are the perfect spice to sprinkle on everyday conversations 🌶️😂 Whether you’re aiming to crack a smile or deliver a clever comeback, these gems bring laughter and sass in equal measure 😎💬 Ready to brighten your day with some sharp humor and quick wit? Let’s dive into a world where words dance and punchlines pop! 🎉✨

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I must retire to my chambers about this.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Ugh, but profoundly.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Posted onMay 25, 2026

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

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