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Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,833

Funny Quotes Topics

17,014

Funny Quotes Images

14,833

Updated

Dec 9, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Just landed via WeChat:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew job apps came with a PHD in random facts? 📚😂"

always, esoteric, folks, humor, knowledge, observation, reason, social, social observation, unemployed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

4 weeks ago

animals, appeal, birdwatching, hobby, humor, i, leisure, little, myself, nature, older, pastime, start, troublemaker, understand, watching
You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

1 month ago

chance, flirt, humor, me, nude, nudes, person, send
I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

1 month ago

clothes, food, humor, i, mess, only, relatable, skills, social, spill, talent, too, yours
I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

1 month ago

curiosity, different, discovery, explosion, food, humor, i, popcorn, vegetable, wonder
Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

4 weeks ago

black, black coffee, coffee, drink, good, good morning, humor, i, morning, oh, remark, sarcasm, tell, ulcer, witty, witty remark
Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

3 months ago

asked, class, education, German, Germany, humor, intelligence, mathematician, people, physicist, response, rich, social, social class, stereotype, wealth, why, woman

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Going viral on WeChat:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Just landed via WeChat:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Trending via Telegram:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Going viral on YouTube:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

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Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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