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Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Live now on Telegram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Spotted on X:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Just landed via Instagram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Mike is short for Micycle.

Spotted on Facebook:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Trending via Slack:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about constant exhaustion with a relatable, humorous tone.

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Commentary:
"Just call me the perpetual president of the Fatigue Fan Club! 😴💤 #AlwaysTiredButNeverRetired"

always, am, fatigue, humor, i, otherwise, say, tired

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21 shares on Facebook this month:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dissecting an alien and getting bitterly jealous at their crazy organs.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

91 shares on X this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

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Activity Log ✨

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Keep the laugh going 😂

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

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Trending Topics 📁

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