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Commentary:
"Imagine the satisfaction of causing traffic jams and slow commutes in your afterlife as a rebellious speed bump! 😈🚗 Just make sure to bring your 'Slow Down' sign to complete the look! 😂 #SpeedBumpRevenge"

annoyance, back, bump, death, die, humor, i, joke, people, pissing, pissing off, reincarnation, speed, speed bump, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

1 month ago
child, harmonica, humor, instructions, instrument, joke, kid, missing, misunderstanding, musical, musical instrument, parenting, work
Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

1 month ago
abs, breakfast, comparison, diet, food, food humor, humor, just, pancake, pancakes, waffle
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

1 month ago
balance, days, even, feel, forget, getting, hectic, humor, life, life balance, lose, much, never, overwhelming, perspective, phone, phone time, priorities, relief, sight, stress, stress relief, things, time, weeks
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

2 months ago
clothing, exercise, humor, irony, jogging, lazy, pants, people
I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

1 month ago
blame, having, humor, i, imagine, kids, late, nobody, parenting, people, understand, understanding
A collective orgasm would fix the world.

3 months ago
collective, commentary, fix, humor, orgasm, sex, social, social commentary, unity, world

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

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I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

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Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

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A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

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How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

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At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

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The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

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Broadcasted on X:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

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I’m never single for too long, you gotta catch me while you can.

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Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

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Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Sane is boring.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

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When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

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Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

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When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

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