Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth. Posted onMay 26, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:"With my track record, I'd need a whole traffic management system 🤯🛑🚗💬" Related funny posts 🤝 When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter. When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off. Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam? I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it. I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.