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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

How long do you actually have to wear a muscle shirt until you get muscles?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Just landed via X:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spotted on X:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Making waves on Facebook:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be getting stronger every day.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about the sexy blend of intelligence, empathy, and kindness.

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Commentary:
Brains, heart, and good vibes? Talk about the ultimate triple threat! 💡❤️😎

attraction, compliment, empathy, humor, intelligence, kindness, personality, personality traits, sexy, traits

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

64 shares on Threads this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

23 shares on Threads this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

70 shares on Slack this month:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

76 shares on Discord this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Just shared via YouTube:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Spotted on WeChat:

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Just landed via Instagram:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Trending via Instagram:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Making waves on X:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just shared via Instagram:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Spotted on Messenger:

I love when the plot thickens.

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Activity Log ✨

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨