Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Whoever coined those phrases must have had money on their mind 💰😄 Talk about a true cash flow of creativity! They really hit the jackpot with those gems! 💎 #ShowMeTheMoney

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

2 months ago

excitement, exciting, finding, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, keep, opportunity, pissed, pissed off, sleep
Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

2 months ago

add, after, boost, chores, cross, dopamine, free, humor, list, motivation, procrastination, productivity, self-care, sometimes, task
Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

2 months ago

before, change, commentary, humor, idiot, internet, only, people, perspective, social, social commentary, technology, thought, town, wrong
A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

2 months ago

best, boyfriend, coworker, dynamics, friend, friends, friendship, humor, relationship, social, social dynamics, workplace
“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

5 months ago

blood, blood type, boiling, funny response, humor, i, joke, know, medical, medical question, question, response, type
Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, beauty, beauty treatment, conversation, getting, humor, just, lady, moment, nothing, open, talking, treatment, wax, waxing, wild

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

98 shares on Threads this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Just landed via Facebook:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Seen just now on Threads:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Breaking via Slack:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Just landed via Threads:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Making waves on Reddit:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨