Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Jan 12, 2026

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Trending via Slack:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Trending via Twitch:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Trending via Slack:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Spotted on YouTube:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Just shared via Twitch:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Spotted on WeChat:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

2 months ago

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally, someone asking the real questions! 🤔🌯 Forget t-shirts, burritos are the real crowd pleasers! 🌯💥 Who wouldn't want to catch a delicious burrito flying at them? 🌯🚀 Time to revolutionize the halftime show with some savory snacks! 🎉😂"

activity, burrito, cannon, comedy, food, fun, fun activity, humor, t-shirt

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

2 months ago

arts, chi, combat, community, community lessons, free, humor, i, irony, lessons, martial, martial arts, muggers, self-defense, slow, tai, Tai Chi, think, too
My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

3 months ago

buy, food, food storage, fridge, grocery, home, humor, i, retirement, retirement home, soon, spoilage, storage
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

2 months ago

anticipation, excited, going, humor, negativity, sucks, think, today
When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

2 months ago

cook, cooking, dating, flag, good, humor, man, quality, red, red flag, relationship, three
80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

2 months ago

bring, daily, daily struggle, decision, humor, i, jacket, just, life, should, struggle, thought, uncertainty, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Awkwardly stares into the abyss in between meetings.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being social sucks all my energy.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,241

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Disliking me is valid. I probably confronted you on your poor behavior, while everyone else just accepted it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Going bananas on X:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Going viral on Telegram:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Spotted on Slack:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Just landed via Instagram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

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