Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,417

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Making waves on Facebook:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Just landed via Slack:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Seen just now on Discord:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Breaking via Facebook:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Breaking via TikTok:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Just landed via Reddit:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Seen just now on X:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Going bananas on Slack:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

2 months ago

0

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs washboard abs when you can have a belly full of delicious kebabs? 🍢🤤 Embrace the joys of kebabs over the pain of crunches! #KebabsOverAbs"

abs, diet, fitness, food, humor, irony, kebab

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

0

2 months ago

after, days, entertainment, home, humor, leisure, love, relax, short-form, short-form video, video, videos, work
Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

0

2 months ago

awareness, forget, humor, laundry, me, mishap, people, pink, raise, red, today, washing, white
That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

0

5 days ago

brain, came, humor, just, only, thinking, wit
Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

0

2 months ago

awkward, comedy, couple, even, fail, humor, joke, jokes, meeting, online, told, virtual, Zoom
I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

0

2 months ago

beer, humor, life, low, low moment, moment, never, saving, shower
How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

0

2 months ago

bad, choice, consequences, decision, future, humor, nobody, shows, stop, time, time travel, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

52 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

16 shares on Threads this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Live now on X:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Just landed via Slack:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Going viral on Instagram:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Shared recently on Slack:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Breaking via WeChat:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Spotted on Telegram:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴