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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Spotted on Telegram:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Just landed via Instagram:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Just landed via Discord:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Just shared via Discord:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

2 months ago

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between desire and existential dread! 🙈🔥 Who needs a will to live when you've got a drive that refuses to quit? 😂💃 Embrace the chaos and zest for life in your own special way! 🎉🔥 #LivingLaVidaLoca"

desire, drive, existential, humor, joke, life, live, relationship, sex, sex drive, will to live, yes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

2 months ago

2, advice, date, hr, humor, never, office, partner, pissed, reasons, relationship, super, work
I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

4 months ago

bed, body, getting, getting out of bed, handle, humor, laziness, morning, morning struggle, much, nonsense, struggle, sure, tired
Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

2 months ago

application, experience, gain, got, humor, i, internship, irony, job, job application, paradox, rejection
If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

3 months ago

actually, creature, humor, joke, mythical, mythical creature, pun, realize, supernatural, transformation, unawarewolf, werewolf
The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

5 months ago

culture, holding, internet, movie, old, old movie, people, preservation, society, together, upload
I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

2 months ago

brightness, charisma, confidence, humor, ignore, impact, impossible, necessary, presence, self-esteem, sun

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

68 shares on Discord this month:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

78 shares on X this month:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where it all works out.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,510

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

Seen just now on Twitch:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Just landed via Instagram:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Making waves on Messenger:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Spotted on Facebook:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Going bananas on Slack:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Just landed via WeChat:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

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