You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.