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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Been getting really into nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Through pottery, we domesticated rocks.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Just landed via YouTube:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Spotted on TikTok:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Making waves on Instagram:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Trending via X:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

2 weeks ago

Witty and playful quote about feeling creatively unskilled or goofy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the artistic masterpiece reminiscent of a left-handed doodle 🎨🤪! It's like abstract art meets chaos theory 🌀. Who knew creativity could be so liberating and confusing at the same time? Bravo for embracing the unconventional, darling! 👏😜"

appearance, art, drawing, funny appearance, hand, humor, i, insult, left, left hand, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

58 shares on Threads this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

96 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

36 shares on X this month:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda messed up that the government knows my birthday but never sends me a gift or anything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Trending via Slack:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Live now on X:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Spotted on Slack:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Spotted on Messenger:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Just landed via Facebook:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

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