Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I will appear to know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Live now on X:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Trending via Instagram:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Trending via Discord:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

2 weeks ago

Witty and playful quote about feeling creatively unskilled or goofy.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the artistic masterpiece reminiscent of a left-handed doodle 🎨🤪! It's like abstract art meets chaos theory 🌀. Who knew creativity could be so liberating and confusing at the same time? Bravo for embracing the unconventional, darling! 👏😜"

appearance, art, drawing, funny appearance, hand, humor, i, insult, left, left hand, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

96 shares on Slack this month:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

28 shares on X this month:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m just highly selective about what I suffer for.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Making waves on Slack:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Seen just now on Telegram:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Live now on Discord:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Live now on TikTok:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴