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"Ah, you've got that 'dig deep' kind of vibe! 💪🪰 Who needs rock bottom when you've got a jackhammer handy, right? Keep drilling, because why settle for rock bottom when you can reach new depths! 🔨😄 #KeepDrilling"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

1 month ago
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Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

4 months ago
age, candy, humor, joke, just, old, old age, original, pocket, snack, werther’s, Werther’s Original
In banana years, I am bread.

1 month ago
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All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

1 month ago
animal, dog, dogs, freelancing, humor, just, majority, pet, therapy
I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

1 month ago
change, confidence, decision, different, every, growth, humor, i, life, life decision, life plan, need, personal, personal growth, plan, realize, self-awareness, unexpected
The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

1 month ago
attraction, dating, dilemma, ethics, flirtation, humor, humor quote, lust, man, morality, over, relationships, romantic, romantic dilemma, thing

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

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If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

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Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Just landed via X:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Spotted on X:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

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You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

In banana years, I am bread.

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

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You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

In banana years, I am bread.

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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