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"Who needs a costume when you're already a real-life character? 🎃😄 Just add a cape and call it a day! You're spooktacular just the way you are 👻 #HalloweenReady"

appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

0

3 months ago

bad, bad day, cheeseburger, day, even, food, frustration, help, humor, know
I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

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2 months ago

appreciation, change, changing, game, heart, humor, people, thank, top
I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

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2 months ago

awkward, change, changing, changing name, city, different, ever, exaggeration, humor, i, move, moving, name, quit, quitting, say, toilet, work
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

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2 months ago

advice, humor, life, mouth, opinion, sarcasm, self-expression
Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

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4 weeks ago

every, hire, humor, insurance, knows, marriage, personality, relationship, someone, works
When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

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2 months ago

answer, ask, better, confidence, contact, eye, eye contact, humor, interaction, response, sarcasm, social, social interaction, weekend, witty, witty response, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

69 shares on X this month:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Live now on X:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Spotted on Telegram:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

Trending via Slack:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨