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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Just shared via Threads:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Trending via Slack:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Going viral on Telegram:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Just shared via X:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Witty quote about Halloween costume humor, playful and funny text on a casual background.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a costume when you're already a real-life character? 🎃😄 Just add a cape and call it a day! You're spooktacular just the way you are 👻 #HalloweenReady"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

10 shares on X this month:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Monday that no one asked for.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time my kids start whining, I get the urge to call my mom and apologize.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Trending via Twitch:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Spotted on Slack:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Just shared via Telegram:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Spotted on X:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Making waves on Telegram:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Just landed via YouTube:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

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