Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a costume when you're already a real-life character? 🎃😄 Just add a cape and call it a day! You're spooktacular just the way you are 👻 #HalloweenReady"

appearance, comment, costume, funny comment, Halloween, humor, joke, self, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

3 months ago

boss, cannonball, conclusions, confidence, diving, exaggeration, humor, i, jump
Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

2 months ago

absurdity, chaos, dinosaurs, else, everything, exaggeration, humor, imagination, imagine, stress, too, top, worry
The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

5 hours ago

eyes, face, Face ID, frustration, hope, humor, ID, loss, loss of hope, phone, technology, work
In a relationship with my heated car seat.

2 months ago

car, comfort, heated, heated seat, humor, love, relationship, seat, warmth
My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

2 months ago

adult, adulthood, believe, childhood, door, doors, dread, existential, existential dread, expectations, gain, humor, ID, irony, lava, led, me, passageway, quicksand, secret, secret passageway, serum, trap, trap door, truth, truth serum, weight, weight gain
Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

2 months ago

activity, comparison, drinking, humor, irony, opposite, snorkeling, straw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Threads this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

10 shares on X this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

All the clouds have come out to play today.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Shared recently on Telegram:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Breaking via Telegram:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Live now on Pinterest:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Trending via YouTube:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Drinking through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨