31 funny Halloween quotes - Wordgag

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

May 30, 2026

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

May 30, 2026

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

May 29, 2026

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

May 28, 2026

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

May 26, 2026

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

May 25, 2026

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

May 24, 2026

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

May 23, 2026

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

May 23, 2026

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

May 23, 2026

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

May 23, 2026

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

May 23, 2026

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

May 21, 2026

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

May 21, 2026

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

May 21, 2026

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

May 21, 2026

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

May 21, 2026

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

May 21, 2026

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

May 21, 2026

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

May 21, 2026

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

May 21, 2026

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

May 21, 2026

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

May 20, 2026

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

May 20, 2026

For Halloween, you should be mine.

May 20, 2026

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

May 20, 2026

For Halloween, I will be okay.

May 20, 2026

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

May 20, 2026

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

May 19, 2026

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

May 19, 2026

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

May 19, 2026