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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I need money, not feelings.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Spotted on Slack:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Spotted on Discord:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Just landed via Facebook:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Spotted on Threads:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Live now on YouTube:

Aura is the real business card.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Going viral on TikTok:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.

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Your phone is a casino designed to steal your time.
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Commentary:
Looks like I hit the jackpot… but all I got was a selfie! 🎰📱😅

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Discord this month:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

70 shares on X this month:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

38 shares on X this month:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Windmill? Big fan.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Just landed via Threads:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Just landed via Messenger:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Seen just now on Twitch:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Just shared via Instagram:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

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