Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just shared via X:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Just landed via TikTok:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Just landed via Pinterest:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Shared recently on Discord:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hope it doesn't start browsing for better travel partners! 🧳😂✈️

bored, boredom, communication, getting, humor, just, luggage, message, suitcase, text, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

2 months ago

call, family, grandma, humor, perception, scandalous, sundry, underwear
Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

2 months ago

being, feel, feelings, humor, i, life, me, perspective, self-doubt, someone, sometimes, sure, uncertainty, writing
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

3 months ago

cake, chocolate, craving, desire, food, humor, i, love, me, relationship, romance, same, someone, want
Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

2 months ago

affinity, bin, both, care, comparison, dirty, exploring, humor, parenting, puppy, smelly, toddler, trash
Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

2 months ago

advice, baseball, baseball cap, beauty, beauty product, cap, fashion, fashion statement, funny advice, humor, looking, looking young, money, money-saving, product, products, propeller, saving, secret, statement, stop, wasting, wear, young
Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

1 month ago

cause, cold, humor, jacket, paper, paper towel, Shein, shivering, towel, towels

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

31 shares on Slack this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

19 shares on Slack this month:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

72 shares on Threads this month:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Going viral on YouTube:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Breaking via Twitch:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Going viral on Telegram:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Making waves on Facebook:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨