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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Just landed via TikTok:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Spotted on Messenger:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Just landed via Telegram:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Just landed via Slack:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hope it doesn't start browsing for better travel partners! 🧳😂✈️

bored, boredom, communication, getting, humor, just, luggage, message, suitcase, text, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

2 months ago

admission, future, help, humor, i, just, me, mean, mistake, panic, question, relationship, wife
When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

2 months ago

attraction, bleh, chemistry, else, everyone, feelings, feels, intense, relationship, someone
Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

2 months ago

communication, conversation, humor, i, introvert, nod, podcast, remember, self-reflection, sometimes, think, thoughts
Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

3 months ago

chic, child, daughter, family, humor, i, love, only, parenting, single, single child, woman, women
No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

2 months ago

anxiety, ask, awkwardness, back, debt, embarrassment, finance, money, own, personal, personal finance, repayment, social, social anxiety, uncomfortable

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

77 shares on X this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

45 shares on Slack this month:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Spotted on Discord:

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

Going viral on Discord:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Trending via Telegram:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Live now on Slack:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Trending via Snapchat:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Going viral on Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨