‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

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Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

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Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

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Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

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I only drink when I people.

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Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

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Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.