Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine line between love and stalking – it's all about perspective, really! 🕵️‍♀️🤷‍♂️ Who knew gathering intel on your future spouse could be frowned upon? 😂#RelationshipGoals #StalkerInLove"

curiosity, dating, future, God, humor, husband, know, relationship, stalker, wants, woman

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

0

6 months ago

barcode, barcode scanner, behavior, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, grocery, grocery cart, money, much, put, scanner, shopping, should, spending, supermarket, technology, things
And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, interaction, personality, room, sarcasm, self-deprecation, social, social interaction, sparkling, sparkling personality, us, wit
Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

1

2 months ago

being, humor, irony, police, questioning, relationship, romance, romantic
I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, baby, confusion, greasing, humor, i, oil, parenting
Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

0

4 months ago

disappointment, expectation, humor, most, severe, things, thunderstorm, warning, weather

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

73 shares on X this month:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Seen just now on X:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Going viral on X:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Making waves on Snapchat:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Just shared via Discord:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨