Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Going viral on Slack:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Making waves on Messenger:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Just landed via YouTube:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Spotted on Reddit:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Just shared via Telegram:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's because the other 20% are still looking for their sunglasses 😎🕶️

American, Americans, attitude, confidence, humor, just, motivation, put, say, sunglasses, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

0

2 months ago

confused, confusion, election, humor, i, mistake, realtor, sign, signs, think, voted, yard, yard sign
I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

0

6 days ago

biology, cheating, chest, emotion, found, heartbreak, i, pain, partner, relationship, wonder
All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

0

2 months ago

am, bills, finances, good, good to go, humor, i, money, outstanding, sarcasm
Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, before, burger, casual, casual joke, fast, fast food, five, Five Guys, food, food service, got, guy, guys, humor, job, joke, just, put, service, workplace
If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

0

2 months ago

categorization, humor, i, ID, identity, miscellaneous, quirky, self-deprecating
I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

0

2 months ago

doing, expectations, hate, humor, i, life, me, people, planning, procrastination, today, tomorrow, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

44 shares on Threads this month:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

18 shares on X this month:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Shared recently on Threads:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Going viral on Twitch:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Making waves on Discord:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Just landed via Instagram:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Making waves on X:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨