Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has shared:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question β€˜how much could juice cost?’

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I probably think this song is about me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has copied:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Shared recently on Threads:

Switching between brainrot and deep intellectual talks is a skill that only a few acquire.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Going viral on Instagram:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Making waves on Reddit:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Going viral on Reddit:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Just shared via TikTok:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Trending via Telegram:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, foreverβ€”until you die.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, β€œOkay, my turn.”

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, β€˜Let’s do this.’

Humorous quote about Americans ready to conquer life with sunglasses and confidence.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
That's because the other 20% are still looking for their sunglasses πŸ˜ŽπŸ•ΆοΈ

, , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on YouTube this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

38 shares on X this month:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has copied:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has shared:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has shared:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has viewed:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has viewed:

LibertΓ©. EgalitΓ©. Second CoffeΓ©.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Just say, β€œMy future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dear autocorrect, that’s not what I was trying to say. I’m getting tired of your shirt.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Just shared via TikTok:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Β© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❀️ in Sydney β˜€οΈπŸŒ΄