Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • “I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.
  • You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.
  • I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.
  • Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.
  • I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.
  • I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.