Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
  • I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.
  • I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.
  • The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.
  • This meeting could have been a cake.
  • In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.