Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.
  • Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!
  • Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.
  • Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.
  • If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.
  • I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.