Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.
  • Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.
  • Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.
  • I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.
  • My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.
  • In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.