Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.
  • Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.
  • Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.
  • I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.
  • The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.
  • Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.