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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.
  • If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.
  • Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.
  • I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.
  • People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.
  • Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.