Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.