Commentary:
Meanwhile, in the cola peace talks: "Can't we all just fizz along?" 🥤✌️😄
55 Funny restaurant quotes
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.
Commentary:
Chips as a prelude to pizza? Sounds like my kind of culinary masterpiece 🎨🍕🥔
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.
Commentary:
Your dog called and said they’re fine at home but requested more treats in exchange for their sanity 😂🐶🦴
The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.
Commentary:
$15 for a fast-food meal? Did they add a side of gold nuggets? 🍟💰😂
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Commentary:
Responding with the speed of a sloth on vacation! 🦥📱 Can't rush greatness, right? 🍽️🚶♂️
If I open a restaurant, there won’t be a menu. You will get what you deserve.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect place for a surprise… or a life lesson!
Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.
Commentary:
They say everything's bigger in Texas, including my keychain knife skills! 🥩🔑😄
Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.
Commentary:
Taking a Hooters waitress to a different Hooters is peak "I've got a type" energy! 🍗😆👀
Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.
Commentary:
I hear ya! Nothing like a classy night of candlelit "therapy" and grape juice 🍷🕯️😄
Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.
Commentary:
Who knew FaceTime was the new OpenTable? 🍽️📞😅