Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”
  • If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.
  • I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.
  • The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.
  • I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.
  • That awkward moment between birth and death.