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81 Funny mean quotes

New funny mean quotes 👇

  • I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

    Commentary:
    “Just trying to see if I’m a VIP or just a very confused 🧐📱😂”

  • Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

    Commentary:
    “When you go low, I go high… on sarcasm! 🎢😅”

  • What do you mean I never reach out? I literally thought about you.

    Commentary:
    Well, clearly your thoughts are loud enough to reach the universe — just not your texts! 🤔📱 Maybe your brain is on “thought mode” but the “reply” button is on airplane mode. 😂✨

  • Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s got their Halloween humor on point! 🎃🍲 When you can’t decide if you’re sipping on wellness or just trying to make a spooky pun, bone broth definitely keeps things “bare bones” intriguing. 😂🦴 Cheers to turning culinary trends into comedy gold!

  • When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

    Commentary:
    Oh, absolutely! Surely scrolling through memes and binge-watching shows at home doesn’t count! 🙈👩‍💻 Who knew “work” screen time was the real enemy here? 💼⏰ Time to put in those hours of relaxation with some quality screen time therapy! 📺🍿 #ScreenTimeRules

  • I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

    Commentary:
    “Keeping your secret safe because let’s face it, human interaction is overrated anyway! 🤐🙊 #AntiSocialGoals”

  • We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew being so sassy could cost you? 🤑💁‍♂️ Time to trade in those insults for compliments – gotta watch that mean behavior balance! ⚖️😜”

  • So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well… looks like someone just discovered the true purpose of a stress ball! 😂🤯 Remember, it’s all fun and games until HR gets involved! #StressReliefGoneWrong

  • People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

    Commentary:
    “Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they’re just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they’re actually night ninjas 🌌!”

  • User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic “User” – the secret code word for ‘idiot‘ in the language of computer professionals 🤓💻 It’s like the tech world’s equivalent of saying “bless your heart” in the South! Just remember, when they say “User error,” what they really mean is “Oops, someone pressed the wrong button again” 😆 #TechSlang #UserError

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