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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,522

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Going bananas on Slack:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Just shared via Messenger:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Just shared via Telegram:

You know those couples who share their food? I mean, what kind of people are they? Aren’t they hungry?

Freshly posted on X:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spotted on Facebook:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Going viral on Reddit:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Adulting: the ultimate escape room with no exit! 😅🧠🔐

adulting, health, humor, life, mental, mental health, mystery, self-care, session, therapy, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

0

5 months ago

anyone, class, education, enough, here, high, high school, humor, memory, nostalgia, old, remember, school, technology, typing
Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

0

2 months ago

area, media, smoking, social, Twitter
Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

0

2 months ago

1, activity, beach, enjoying, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, getting, going, humor, preparation, ready
Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

0

2 months ago

comfort, enjoy, home, humor, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

0

2 months ago

dating, expectations, falling, finding, humor, imagine, irony, love, me, relationship, slow, slow walker, walker
If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

0

2 months ago

another, belief, command, God, humor, kill, morality, religion

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

91 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

79 shares on X this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

58 shares on X this month:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Spotted on Threads:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Breaking via Facebook:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Broadcasted on Twitch:

They expect me to work at work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Spotted on Reddit:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Spotted on Facebook:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨