Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.
  • My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.
  • It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.
  • I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.
  • Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.
  • Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.