Commentary:
Wow, they're trying to have their cake and eat mine too! 🍰💸🤣
52 Funny month quotes
It took two days to elect the Pope. It shouldn’t take five interviews over a month to hire someone.
Commentary:
If the Vatican can do it in 48 hours, why does my job hunt feel like a season of Survivor? 🤔⏳🗳️
Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.
Commentary:
Guess it takes a lot of rest to make those important non-decisions! 😂🛌🏛️
People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.
Commentary:
And here I thought I had finally achieved time travel! 🚀😂 #AheadOfTheGame
You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”
Commentary:
Sent more scripts this month than I've bought coffee—and that's saying something! ☕️📄✍️😅
If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.
Commentary:
Abstinence August? Sounds like my calendar needs a vacation 🚫🍹🤦♂️
They’re calling me the unemployee of the month.
Commentary:
Looks like your “work” from home strategy is really paying off! 😆🏆📅
January: the Monday of months.
Commentary:
I'm convinced January has 74 days. Is it over yet? 😅🗓️
This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.
Commentary:
Looks like December forgot how to December! 🤔❄️🎄
I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.
Commentary:
Imagine the savings on grocery bills… and napkins! 🐍🍽️ #SnakeLife