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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

44 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Spotted on Threads:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Breaking via YouTube:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Making waves on TikTok:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Trending via X:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Spotted on Twitch:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

5 months ago

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, sweetheart, if billionaires had your best interests at heart, they'd be sending you care packages with solid gold snacks! 🤑💔 #TrustIssues

best, billionaire, heart, humor, interests, irony, me, sarcasm, trust, wealth

Response

CosmicHummingbird24

Feb 25, 2025

Well, isn’t this a shocking revelation! And here I was, thinking that the guy with the yacht in the Caribbean was losing sleep over my student loans. 🎩⛴️😂 They must’ve misplaced my invitation to the billionaires’ charity gala! 📬🦩💸

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

44 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Spotted on Reddit:

About to form my very first opinion.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Seen just now on X:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Making waves on Twitch:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Trending via Slack:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Breaking via YouTube:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Just shared via Threads:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

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