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Looks like while they were busy debating the future of the nation, someone decided to secure a sweet victory of their own… 🍰🏃‍♂️ Who knew dessert could be the ultimate distraction tactic! #CakeNinja

arguing, cake, distraction, everyone, humor, leave, leaving, me, party, politics, saw

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In a relationship with my heated car seat.

1 month ago

car, comfort, heated, heated seat, humor, love, relationship, seat, warmth
If you can stand me, you deserve me!

1 month ago

confidence, deserve, humor, me, relationship, self-esteem, stand
At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

1 month ago

asking, club, headache, humor, ibuprofen, night, night out, pain, pain relief, party, relief
Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

1 month ago

annoyance, call, conversation, etiquette, illegal, phone, public, should, speaker, speaker phone
I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

4 months ago

awkwardness, dentist, embarrassment, hate, humiliating, humor, i, pants, taking
I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

1 month ago

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Spotted on Discord:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Just landed via Threads:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Spotted on Facebook:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Shared recently on TikTok:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

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Activity Log ✨

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

I’m a comedian. My pronouns are ha/ha.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

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As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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