Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Looks like while they were busy debating the future of the nation, someone decided to secure a sweet victory of their own… 🍰🏃‍♂️ Who knew dessert could be the ultimate distraction tactic! #CakeNinja

arguing, cake, distraction, everyone, humor, leave, leaving, me, party, politics, saw

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life update: it’s getting worse.

3 weeks ago

getting, humor, life, pessimism, sarcasm, update, worse
I had too much to think last night.

1 month ago

humor, i, last, much, night, overthinking, think, thinking, too
That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

1 month ago

air, beep, drum, drum solo, humor, In the Air Tonight, just, kitchen, kitchen humor, me, microwave, music, music parody, parody, slap, solo, tonight, tummy, tummy slap, waiting
Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

4 weeks ago

communication, duct, duct tape, fix, golden, humor, irony, problem-solving, silence, silver, tape
Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

1 month ago

authenticity, care, decision, doing, else, everything, feels, humor, intuition, letting, life, life skill, mindset, only, right, self, self-care, skill, underrated
Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

4 weeks ago

back, back to work, Christmas, day, frustration, holiday, humor, illegal, off, time, time off, week, work, work week

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on YouTube this month:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

96 shares on Slack this month:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

18 shares on Threads this month:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Adulting is difficult. One minute you’re proud of yourself, the next minute you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

You ever feel awkward in Target, cause you know you belong at Walmart.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Spotted on Facebook:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Just landed via Instagram:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Live now on Snapchat:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Breaking via Instagram:

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

Live now on Pinterest:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Spotted on X:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Going bananas on Instagram:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Life update: it’s getting worse.

I had too much to think last night.

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨