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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Going viral on Instagram:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Spotted on Reddit:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Just landed via TikTok:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Breaking via X:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Trending via Instagram:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Breaking via Messenger:

Dear Santa, Money!

Going viral on Telegram:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

0
At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.
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Commentary:
Ah, the magical sore throat time machine – skip the discomfort and head straight to wellness! If only we could all fast-forward through the pesky colds and flus like pressing the skip button on a Netflix show. Just imagine the convenience of avoiding all those lozenges and herbal teas by leaping forward in time. Who needs a DeLorean when you have a scratchy throat as your trusty time traveler guide?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on TikTok this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

73 shares on X this month:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

83 shares on Threads this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

15 shares on Slack this month:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Trending via YouTube:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

Seen just now on Slack:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Breaking via WeChat:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Just landed via Instagram:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Just shared via Telegram:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

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