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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

56 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Just shared via Threads:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Spotted on X:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Spotted on Threads:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Trending via Messenger:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Trending via Slack:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Breaking via Facebook:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

6 months ago

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seriously, Lego should come with a money-back guarantee that buying them helps fund a cure for child cancer! 💸🤔 Maybe they're made of magic bricks that hold the secret to ending all diseases! ✨🤞 Or maybe they just know we'll pay anything for those satisfying 'click' sounds. 🧱💰#LegoForACause"

better, cancer, child, child cancer, cost, humor, Lego, pricing, sarcasm, shit, toys, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

56 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Shared recently on X:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Just shared via Messenger:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Live now on WeChat:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Making waves on Facebook:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Spotted on Instagram:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Spotted on Twitch:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Trending via Pinterest:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

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